


One Reason to Stay

by Willow_River



Series: Ashe's Journal [1]
Category: Thrilling Intent (Web Series)
Genre: Ashe's journal, Character Study, Gen, golem arc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-11
Updated: 2015-09-11
Packaged: 2018-04-20 01:21:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4768235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willow_River/pseuds/Willow_River
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little look into what might have been going through Ashe's mind during that blank month in the Golem arc. This is all speculation on my part, but it makes for a decent explanation for why she never just up and left the guys even though she was clearly stressed out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Reason to Stay

It’s been just about a month since the whole incident with the golems guarding the head of Veryndir. Things have been… difficult, to say the least.

Rabid golems have infested the area, making food nearly impossible to find. I’ve been making do with rats. They’re disgusting.

Markus is still high off all that ancient eos he drank. He keeps doing crazy things: talking to the walls, introducing himself by strange titles, trying to go outside. I used to just lead him back inside, but he’d just sprint away or start trying to hold me. I hit him with a stick now. It’s… easier.

As for Gregor… I just can’t seem to get him fixed up. He’s so delirious when he’s awake, almost as bad as Markus. The things he says sometimes… I almost wonder what his childhood was like. I hit him with the stick too, to keep him in a safety-coma.

The wound from Sir Dunstan is so deep. I’ve been trying to fix it as best I can without going too far, but it’s just not working. His skin’s starting to rot. At the rate things are going… I’m not sure he’s going to make it. Every time I try to heal him… it just takes so much out of me. I get so exhausted.

Thank the gods Colfus decided to stick around. Not only is he a big help in managing Markus, but I think I would’ve gone mad by now without someone to talk to. He’s put Sir Dustan back together, and made him not want to kill us anymore. It’s nice to have the extra defense against the golems outside, though I could do without the shouting, and posing, and general obnoxiousness.

I wonder sometimes, when Markus’ raving gets to be almost beyond bearable, why I’m even staying here with these guys. I mean, it’d be so easy to just leave. I could finally be on my own again, going where I want…. I don’t think I could do that, though.

I’m the reason Gregor got hurt in the first place, and, in a way, the reason Markus is so out of it now. If I hadn’t distracted him then….

I’m so tired. Everything’s just been so exhausting… wearing on me. I’m afraid.

More than the guilt, there is something else that keeps me here. I’d never tell anyone this, least of all Markus, but… I don’t want to be alone again. Those two, while they may be insufferable idiots a lot of the time, have been the closest thing I’ve had to real companions in my life. I don’t want to lose that…. Not like this.


End file.
